今天才发现啊……faint。

今天想上来写点什么。

事实上，我刚才刚刚发现，boycott的中文翻译，“杯葛”，似乎是boycott的直接广东话音译。

拿金山词霸稍微验证了一下，果然如此。

嗯。不错。

就是澳大利亚对意大利的那场。

脑子里涌现出四个字：侵华日军。

 

事实上，播音员应该考虑后果的。这下可好，澳大利亚的华人不知道会受到什么样的牵连。

 

 

 

 

“Hello! Hi, there! Good afternoon, sir!”

“………”

“Hello, sir! Greetings to you, noble one!”

“Stop talking to me! Leave me alone.”

“Sir, please! Please listen! I would like to—”

“Go away! Stop following me!”

“But sir, I would like to tell you a story. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear a story on this bright afternoon? Beautiful day it is, isn’t it?”

He looked at the sky. The sun was shining beautifully, gleaming with hope.

“Oh all right, then. Just one! But be quick about it!”

I sighed. Finally, there’s someone who will listen. I took a deep breath.

Okay, sir. Let me tell you about my days as the Earth’s ambassador to Tolnepia. What? You’ve never heard of it? Of course not! Why would the government ever bother to raise such a topic in public? There’s no telling what they still have hidden from you. Anyways, I was appointed ambassador of Earth to the planet Tolnepia. Yes. Yes, it’s in outer space. You see, sir, the world leaders were quite afraid that they might have the potential of invading Planet Earth. So they sent me to investigate and to steal whatever technology that could be used to produce weapons.

After a short ride on a beam of light, I arrived on an odd-looking planet. The dominant species, the Tolnepians, are not much different from us human beings, but everything else is much different. Take their transportation, for example. Their public transportation is organic. It’s actually a sort of a giant snail with very sharp teeth. The Tolnepians get in and out of the shell to travel from A to B. Interestingly enough, there’s no currency at all. They simply have no need to pay for anything, including transportation. Later I learned that they actually feed their snails, which they prefer to call “slians sesub,” their daily wastes.

Their language is interesting. Structurally, it is like a mixture of Swahili, German and Malayalam, especially the writing which uses the characters very similar to Malayalam and Tamil. The odd thing is, “namaskaram” actually means “goodbye for good”. I made many mistakes while learning the Tolnepian language, but it was surely nice that the Tolnepians didn’t laugh. They were serious people.

Let us not get too carried away. I was on a mission to find out if the Tolnepians opposes any harm to Earth, remember? So during one of those first few days of being ambassador, I actually went to one of their officials and asked how they would defend themselves.

“Defend? What do you mean?”

“I mean, what kind of weapons do you use if other peoples were to attack or invade your planet?”

“Invade? Attack? What do you mean?”

It turned out I didn’t get much from this guy. I believed that the official was faking it, that he knew all about their military system and was just guarding one of their nation’s secrets. He was one of the High Council members, which they would call, in Tolnepian, “baags o’ meet ‘n’ haye”. Their government was similar to the republic model on Earth, except that there’s no head of government, only members of the High Council. They are not elected, just volunteers, for there is no salary that comes along with these positions. After all, no one ever gets paid. They’re highly unfamiliar with the words “money”, “wealth”, and “power”. The members of the High Council simply bear the responsibility of announcing information of when their next party would be.

The Tolnepians are party lovers, though such a serious people. Only, they party much differently than earthlings. Their parties would still be reunions of friends or families or both. But once they get together, they start their party by standing on their heads and closing their eyes for two Tolnepian hours. After that, they would get back on to their feet and stand still with their eyes closed for another two hours. By the time they head home, it’ll be well after ten hours. Somehow, they find it enjoyable.

One reason that I find this place valuable is that there are mountains of gold. Yes! Mountains of gold! Oh, sorry, please allow me to wipe my drool. I was shocked to see so much gold, untouched. It seems that they don’t really care about it. They called it the “yellow shining mountains that hurt one’s eyes”. They are rich, by Earth’s standards, very rich, in fact. But they just simply have no knowledge of it. I longed to take some of that gold with me back to Earth, but I left in such a hurry that I forgot. It was such a pity.

Well after my third year as ambassador, I finally came across a small trace of information that I’d been waiting for this whole time. A battle, they called it. I got excited upon receiving this piece of news and went to my friend in the High Council.

“What do you mean ‘what level of battle it is’? It’s just a battle, just like any battle!” After these words, my High Council friend looked at me, hoping that I could understand their common sense.

Now how much information can you get from his words? Not much, from my point of view. I was still in hope of accomplishing my mission by stealing their highest weaponry technology and bringing it back to my beloved home, Earth. I started to picture what the battle would be like—Laser axes? Proton bombs? IQ decreasers? It didn’t take me too long to find out.

At last, the day of the battle arrived. I was invited to sit with the High Council members and had a very good view of what seems to be the battlefield. Soon after the audience was seated, the battle started. To my great surprise and huge disappointment, I didn’t see any weapons on site. There were simply two straight lines of old Tolnepians, with their beards braided and tied together. After the whistle blew, they started to stare at each other with dangerous-looking beams. Surely anyone would think that they are definitely going to charging into one another. The two teams were dressed in different colors, so it was easy to tell from one team to another. I was once again wondering what I’d be seeing. I finally realized that I was comforting myself by anticipating that I was bound to see some Tolnepian martial arts. The whistle blew again, and the battlefield exploded—with dangerous sounding debates. These two teams were not here to battle against one another! They were merely debate teams debating on topics like “why should noodles be 20 centimeters long”, “why should brooms be square-shaped” and such and such.

I was greatly disappointed and thought that I was once again fooled by these potential blood-sucking Tolnepians. Then I suddenly realized that they didn’t have weapons of any kind at all! Any Earthling cowboy could have taken over their entire planet. I quickly came back to earth to report my findings, but never mentioned the gold. The leaders of Earth think that since Tolnepians pose no harm, there’s no necessity for me to return to Tolnepia once more. They’ve terminated the project and here I am, talking to you, kind sir, on a sunny afternoon in the Boston Commons.

“No, please don’t go, sir! Please! Won’t you grant me five dollars for telling you such a marvelous story? Please don’t walk away, sir! Four! How ’bout that? Three, then? Two? Just one dollar, please! Aww, please sir. Fifty cents, sir! Fifty cents should do. Sir, please just honor me by granting me a quarter. Oh thank you so much, kind sir! Thank you so much! May the Gods of Tolnepia shine upon you! Pleasant day, sir, pleasant day!”

So there you are.....standing there, wondering where you are. You look around. Nothing is familiar. Yet, it actually is. The skyscraping trees, the colorful flowers and, of course, the fragrance of the grass with its crisp, glamorous green. For a minute you wonder where you are. But with or without the answer, you feel joyful already. Delighted, you walk around. Telling yourself this, all of this, was not a dream.

 

"This is, in fact, real," you tell yourself.

 

Quite right. Perhaps it was. Convinced, you lie down on the soft and comforting bed of grass. The mild sun in the afternoon shines its warmth upon you. A small and charming breeze strolls through this pleasant scenery,  making sure that you feel like you're in heaven. It couldn't get more comfortable and relaxing than this. This was after the minute that you were standing there, and it lasted another minute.

 

Quickly, after adjusting to the new comfortable state you are in right now, you start to wonder again. How did I get here? Where was I before this? You realized that for the last two minutes, but even though this question came to your mind, you simply ignored it and went about taking care of yourself in adapting to this new environment. After everything's settled, there comes that question again. How is this possible?

 

Suddenly, a voice that's really familiar comes in to this "reality", giving you the answer you were searching for.

"Helen, dear, it's time to take your medicine~~"

好了。终于又开始要写些东西了。这次的写作目的与往常比较不同，因为全然(zenzen)没有写作目的。下面的语句也不过就是信笔胡侃罢了……

事实哇，余里没啥可说的。只是刚才看到友达的blog上的一些图片，有些感触。

似乎好久没有去那个地方了……但是其实也不过五个月，却好像数年的感觉。对于北京的感觉似乎都没有那个地方强烈。身处那地，便是到了中国的波士顿。人文气息自是不同的。思绪紊乱，便尽快地从友达的blog上出来了，否则又要引起无限的忆思了。

说说最近发生的事吧。最近……嗯……就是今日的午后吧。看了一部纪录片，讲述美国球员、商人在日本的辛苦历程。一部多多少少有些反日情绪的片子。日本与世界其他地方的文化差异太大了，却又是世界重要的商术堡垒。无怪乎……却又诚然可怜。纪录片名字叫做“American Game Japanese Rules”。去看吧。

咦……大家都要生活。所以，故人已矣。

撒……此兹库数学哦勉强西马斯。

又过了一年了。进入新的一年了。Blah blah blah.......

祝大家新年快乐。

如果还能快乐起来的话，那就请便吧。

没事了。12：00了。也不知道是不是特意熬到这时候才睡……其实还没有要睡的意思。平时也要两三点钟才睡……今天顺便把新年的倒计时也一起过了，算是还有点效率吧。

明天要去秦王星了。不知道是不是值得期待，还好有朋友一起去，他还不会开船。

天上的星星变成了袜子的形状，明朝还在么？袁崇焕被人吃了……吃他的人用电话线剔牙。

恍然大悟……原来是这样。

佐井本晴子坐在床沿上，看着窗外的灰色天空。圣诞节了，也不过如此。想想，也没事情做。这样倒是挺有趣的，只是坐着，却不做什么。不知道是不是无聊？一般来讲，无聊是人们感到无趣的时候使用的词汇。晴子现在只是坐着，却也没有觉得无聊。挺有趣的，不是么？

 

倒是有一段时间了。只是坐着，脑子里却也没想什么，也没有意思要起来。不过是圣诞节而已，没有必要做些什么特别的事情嘛，便一如既往地继续坐着。突然间，她的确觉得有些无聊了，因为她发觉到也没有在做什么，却也的确应该做点什么，便起了身，想去做些什么。

 

做什么呢？好难决定啊。她发现，其实也不必去和朋友吃一顿、一起看电影或者去Have fun或者怎么样的了……因为长久以来，生活中早就没有这些因素了。既然没有，而且也苟延残喘地活过来了，那何必再去追求这些无谓的事物呢？朋友是次要的、享受生活也是次要的。所以，即使站起来了，也没事情做。于是乎，晴子又坐了下来，继续望着窗外灰色的天空。

 

电话响了，晴子接了起来。

“喂……”

“请问是佐井本小姐么？我是横木。”

“哦……”

然后晴子就挂断了。

电话没有再响。

事实上，真的没有什么值得去做的事情了。

“不如……自杀好了。”

想到这个，晴子居然笑了起来。这应该是快乐吧。终于，她找到她能做的事了，便起身去找刀子。刃口对准了手腕，划了一下，血液变滴滴答答地流了出来。她看着红色的血液，突然间想起来了，血液是红色的。

“哼……世界上至少有些东西还是有点颜色的……”

这是佐井本晴子的最后一句心里所想。

 

衷心祝愿诸位:Have a gloomy, miserable and depressing Christmas！

看到ilovebach的spaces上面有个rate my life，我就也试着做了一下。结果如下：

写作水平下降得厉害。其实，最要命的就是真的想说点什么，却发现没啥可说的。我已经不想再用文章去抨击谁谁谁、某某某的观点了。因为即使抨击了，也不会改变什么。甚至还要冒着文章被看到的危险，然后搞得两个人之间的关系变差。何必呢？

 

生活在世上，最重要的就是要没有观点。既然没有观点，人家也就不至于会去跟你辩驳什么，而你也可以省省脑子，让自己的寿命延长一些。人不知而不愠，的确很难得的。谁能有这样的胸怀呢？与他人保持距离的重要性的确是首当其冲的。“距离产生美”，诚然。如果差异太大、距离太近，相处起来自然会有些问题。其实，每个人都有自己喜欢的物事。与他人距离远一点，别人的刺固然伤不到你，你那乱会乱耍的剑也就不会伤到别人了。

 

很久以前就没有观点了。久而久之，写出来的东西都语无伦次了。能看懂这篇文章的人自然也就是天才了。在下拜服。

Blog在网上流传不知道是好事还是坏事……我们时常喜欢自己抒发抒发情感，表达表达感想。这些都是好事。但是，碰到愉快的时候或者糊涂的人们的时候，谁都不能保证不会有坏的事情发生。好在于我并不经常给自己照搞笑的照片，更没啥搞笑的朋友给我照奇怪的照片（除了解剖课上那张“迷”倒众人的照片之外），所以也就没有太多的人了解本教授的真实面容。不过，仍旧不可避免的，就是我有几张老照片落到我的学生手上了。这的确是个风险。Anyways，话归原题，blog在网络上的流传，焉知福祸？我只是随便逛逛，就找到下面这张照片了……blog的危险程度还真的不低呢。

一、需要的物品：

管钳子、活扳子、No.5 Pipe Dough、割管器、焊枪、Teflon Tape、焊锡、WD-40（Optional）、铜管、弯头、焊油、铜管清理磨器以及铜管接头

 

二、拆卸步骤：

首先要把煤气的（或者电）的开关关掉。随后使用割管器，在适当的地段把铜管割断。

紧接着，把上面的两个热水、冷水接口拧下来。注意观察一下nipple还能不能用。如果能用，就不必买新的了。

热水器拆下来，记得要扔到指定的location。

 

三、安装步骤： 

首先要搞清楚热水器的高度和直径。这样，就用不着大规模修改管道了。

之后，要弄明白冷水和热水的出入水口。随后安装nipple。记得安装nipple之前，把与热水器连接的部位缠绕上teflon tape。这样可以防水。

下面就把热水器安放在预定位置。

在煤气的接口上，涂上No.5 Pipe Dough，然后把煤气管道连接上。

弄明白铜管的焊接方案以后，可以动手清洁铜管了。使用铜管清理磨器清洁铜管以后，用焊油把铜管连接面全部涂匀。

妥当以后，就可以动手焊接铜管了。用焊枪和焊锡把铜管焊接上。记得要匀称。保证焊接的各处不要渗水、漏水。

最后一步就是把排气管道接上。记得在钻接螺丝的时候使用自攻螺丝。这样比较牢固。

如此一来，热水器就大致上安装完毕了。

 

四、点火以及测试：

1、煤气的热水器，一般都有pilot，而且一般都是自动点火的。所以，如果点火不起的话，首先要检查两件事：煤气管道和热水器本身。要检查煤气管道是否有漏气地方，使用肥皂水，把管道刷一下，看看是否有泡沫扩散现象。特别要注意煤气管道连接的地方。千万记得要把煤气管道妥当安装，否则搞不好会出人命的。另一个要检查的，就是热水器本身。有些热水器是烧丙烷的，把煤气管道接上去，当然不会点亮了，不过应该会有绿色火焰瞬间冒出之后马上熄灭，并且排气孔有大量的炭灰排出。

 

2、把冷水开关打开，看看铜管是否有漏水现象。如果有，会比较麻烦。要重新焊接水管。如果长时间没有热水，要检查温度设置。此外，如果还不行，马上联络商家，然后更换热水器。

以上则是更换热水器的正常方法。

 

五、Credits：

感谢我爸爸和金叔叔。

还没弄完。上面没有的，请不要介意。

 

以上。

被风吹过的夏天

//金莎&林俊杰

 

还记得昨天那个夏天
微风吹过的一瞬间
似乎吹翻一切
只剩寂寞更沉淀
如今风依旧在吹
秋天的雨跟随心中的热却不退
仿佛即使闭着双眼
熟悉的脸又会浮现在眼前
蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

还记得昨天那个夏天
微风吹过的一瞬间
似乎吹翻一切
只剩寂寞更沉淀
风依旧在吹
秋天的雨跟随心中的热却不退
仿佛继续闭着双眼
熟悉的脸又浮现在眼前
蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

蓝色的思念
突然演变成了阳光的夏天
空气中的温暖
不会更遥远
冬天已仿佛不在留恋
绿色的思念
回首对我说一声四季不变
不过一季的时间
又再回到从前
那个被风吹过的夏天

那一风吹过的夏天

岁月在流逝、流失着；

曾经的旅程，曾几何时都变成了印象；

圣诞节的钟声、歌唱、祝福……

每次聚餐的红烧肉、红烧鱼、磨菇豆腐；

篮球场上，上下奔波着鲁钝的球技……

这些岁月，逝去矣；

旧人已逝、新人即渋、事已至此、空余祝福；

愿祝他乡、指日即归。

去看吧。

从今天开始，我的MSN将会不定期登陆。但是，我会启用gtalk作为默认网络传呼方式。我的gmail地址是jvpcui@gmail.com， 也就是说gtalk的id是jvpcui。如果诸位任何人想要gmail的邮箱，可以发email给我到上述地址。另，email固定格式如下：

 

Title： [申请]XXX申请Gmail邀请函

内容： XXX申请Gmail邀请函。请发至 KKK@ZZZ.YYY 。以上。

 

另，申请文可为中文、英文、日文中的任何一种语言。其他的语言也没关系，但是不可以使用德文。使用德文的申请者将被拒发邀请函。“XXX"的内容不限，只是用来区分申请者的标志，哪怕叫“阿猫”、“阿狗”也没太大关系。但是麻烦申请者将"KKK@ZZZ.YYY"的内容填写清楚，以便发送邀请函至贵处。

可以有自己自由的空间去发表自己想说的话。我却没有。即便在网上，也有着千万双眼睛盯着你，看着你……

其实，我的想法，根本就是鸩酒。如果，我把自己的真实想法写了出来，那与饮鸩止渴毫无差别。读了这里的言论的人，便可以回家，告诉它的妈妈，然后啊……耳朵传耳朵，话筒传话筒……不久之后，天下大部分的人也就都知道了。不过，我的真实想法，与我何干？

 

记得，那是在六个月前。我在电话里，向某个二百五说了些根本不算想法的“想法”。那人马上把这句话到处传，第一个先往老板的耳朵里传。二百五的制造物对某物“没有感觉”，也必须让我们知道。那个制造物在吃饭的时候“叭叽吧叽”的，还真是悦耳呢；收听旁人使用带电的传话筒传来的讯息时，爱搭不理的；不过，这些与我何干呢？

 

记得，三个月前了。家里养着狗子L的那只狗子出言不逊，被我扁出了人类界。但是，要知道，养着狗子L的那只狗子是如何变成现在这样的呢？那还要看狗娘的所作所为了。他们的做法，与我何干？

 

记得，很长一段时间了……是的，忍耐Assy很长时间了。Assy很bitchy，与串烧整天卿卿我我。Assy是个被宠坏的臀部。串烧则是高消费品。我不知道为什么，为什么要我去喜欢一只屁股？锻炼忍耐不喜欢的人体部位的能力？算了。时间也过去了。屁股？串烧？他们与我何干？

 

多了。不过，都跟我没关系。这篇文章不是我写的。以后，无论是哪个长舌妇看到这篇文章，都不要追究到我的头上。这篇抱怨文，与我何干？